another solo day

I got to have most of the day to myself today, as April’s husband, Raj took the kids to Clwydian Hills in northern Wales for a walk. Raspberry was so incredibly excited about going that she started packing her backpack for it on Friday. She also kept asking what day it was so she could count how many more days until she got to go. It was pretty cute, but at the same time I think she was also a bit reflective. A few evenings ago, she asked if I’d be lonely without her, to which I assured her that I wouldn’t, which is completely true. I see it as a nice break from each other.

Anyway, I was excited when I saw her off this morning. The sun was shining, my kid was on her way to enjoying some nature, I had the day to myself, I had the music turned up loud, what more could I ask for? I was determined to make the most of it.

Today was rather similar to the last time I had the day to myself, when Lucas took Raspberry to Wrexham, except I chose to go to the library in the morning rather than the afternoon so I wouldn’t have to rush back when Raj dropped Raspberry off. I think with the success of the previous time, I desperately wanted today to go the same way and of course, it didn’t exactly. I think I need to stop investing such high expectations in my experiences. Ha. I saw Carrie and Lucy at the library; April had said that Carrie might be there and I popped into the kids’ section to see if she was and also to pick up some new books for Raspberry. We had a nice, lengthy chat as her kids kept running back and forth, fetching books to read and inadvertently creating a wobbly tower on the table. She mentioned she was pretty mainstream in her parenting, which surprised me as most homeschoolers I’ve met generally follow more attachment-style or natural parenting. But I ought to not make generalizations; I do still believe that parents should follow their instincts when it comes to child-rearing, even if I don’t agree with the techniques they’ve chosen.

I didn’t get as many books to browse through as I did before and most of them were graphic design books as I find it’s easier to draw ideas and inspiration from graphic design than photography, for obvious reasons. And it’s my so-called other art practise that needs some poking and prodding rather than my photography (or so I think?). I didn’t really find a lot that I liked but enough to get a few ideas brewing, and I suppose that’s all I can ask for.

While I was having lunch at home, I kept thinking how I ought to be multitasking so I could make the best use of my time alone (“two hours until Raspberry comes home! Gotta hurry!”). Yet, another part of me thought that I should just take it easy and enjoy a relaxing lunch. But really, how could I relax when half my brain was telling me to hurry up and eat so I could move on and do something?! Ahhhhh! I eventually gave in and finished half my lunch at the computer. The curse of being tethered to technology. But I didn’t stay on it as long as I normally would have. I continued working on the envelopes I started back in September, but they’re still unfinished (one flap for each envelope and all the labels left to do). I used to think that they’re so quick to make, which they are if you’re making just one or a few, but when you’re mass-producing fifty at a time, it’s a whole other story. I was just finishing them up when Raspberry arrived home. And to think I actually thought that I might be able to get both flaps done today. Haha, did I ever mention how I have a poor sense of estimation? Clearly!

All in all, it wasn’t too bad a day. I didn’t get the creative boost I was hoping for but it’s probably unrealistic to expect that to always happen, especially when I don’t work on my art constantly or regularly for that matter (as much as I’d like to). Nor did I cross everything off my four-item long to-do list (I only got one thing done, I’m sad to report). Oh well, c’est la vie. My lesson for the next time I get a day to myself is to not expect it to always go as swimmingly as I might imagine it to turn out.

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