You can’t tell from the pictures but we’ve had a pretty shitty week here. Well, I have anyway. Raspberry’s still recovering from being sick last week. Whatever she has has been pretty virulent as even Lucas has gotten sick. He’s hardly ever sick and he’s been debilitated by this nasty cold for the past four days and counting. The result of being sick has been a grumpy, whiny, clingy, snotty, extremely stubborn Raspberry, and a pretty intolerable one at that. She has been a nightmare to be around, throwing tantrums at will, crying at the littlest things, being bossy and just being unpleasant in general. We met up with friends twice this week and usually she has a wonderful time with them but this week, she was just moody. I had a hard time explaining her behaviour to her five-year-old friend. Around the house, we’ve had numerous meltdowns and blowups. I’m yelling a lot more than I ever wanted to as a parent and we’ve unconsciously reverted to a lot of conventional parenting styles in the heat of the moment because we’ve been so frustrated with Raspberry’s behaviour. Of course, this parenting style doesn’t help and if anything, perpetuates the behaviour that’s driving us insane in the first place. It’s been ever more difficult with Lucas being sick, because I’ve been with Raspberry for what feels like 24/7, and I hate that I resent her for acting the way that she does. It’s hard to break the cycle, to try to be patient and reasonable and to let the little indiscretions go, especially when I’m often overwhelmed by the urge to sell her to the circus. Today as he was leaving, Lucas told me to be sure I take Raspberry home from the museum. Alive. In one piece. I did, grudgingly though. I have to constantly remind to breathe and to try to remain calm but lately, it’s been such a challenge and more often than not I fail. I just have to be better about controlling my temper and being more patient. I really hope that her behaviour improves (returns to normal?) once she’s completely better. Lucas says we often get into these horrible ruts around this time of year and it makes me wonder if the season has anything to do with it. If it does, I’m just glad that the warmer weather’s coming. Actually, warmer weather be damned, I’ll be glad when Raspberry (and Lucas) will be fully recovered.

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